Single Girls Gotta Eat

Don’t you love it when you meet someone at a bar and put them in your phone, only to forget they are there and then get a random text one day while you are at work?

Smoov Smith: Hey Ms. Watson

Smoov Smith: Let’s say we try to grab a beer in the near future and trade silly bands. Hahaha

Ah yes…Smoov Smith aka Smack Dizzle aka Smitty aka Random “black out acquaintance from my Saturday day drinking extravaganza while cheering on the World Cup” dude.

Side note- I was later informed by my roommate that Smith Smack Smitty worked at the wine shop next door to the bar. Apparently he was working as manager that extraordinary Saturday afternoon, and was often times called back to work after pounding shots at the bar and doing the Roger Rabbit. Or Charlie Brown?

Despite my affinity for Silly Bands, I think Smoov Smith may be yet another causality of excessive afternoon drinking.

6/29 Lunch (rep lunch at Da Silvano)

• Caprese Salad
• Beets
• Fried Artichokes
• Lobster Salad
• Yummmm!

XOXO,

SG

But I need to bring you THIS important announcement….

Yes, that is a child being pulled in a plastic Office Depot box down 2nd avenue. Yes, he was trying to sleep in it. And yes, apparently they sell children at office supply stores.

“Lets see what I need here. 3 dozen purple pens, 5 packs of neon post-its, 12 3-ring binders with pockets, and one child.”

Zomg!

Today I went to Governor’s Island for a Polo Match. It sucked. Like, a lot. I sweated more than I have in my entire life and was covered with ants and dirt. Prince Harry and that hot model from the Polo Ralph Lauren ads, Nacho, were the only two people keeping me there (along with my friends, of course!). I finally caught a glimpse of them for a total of 5 minutes and decided I had enough. So I came back to Manhattan, where I ate in the AC and watched cheesy reality TV. 

• Salad with bacon bits, blue cheese and capers
• Bowl of Kellogg’s
• Goldfish 
• Freeze Pop
• Scotch-a-roo’s (made by my roommate)

On a side note, I spent $20 at the 7-11 on Saturday night. $20!! Unnecessary. 

you wake up to Z100 in an unfamiliar place with central air in the financial district at 6:45am on a work day.

6/24 dinner:

• Slice of cheeze pizza, 10 beers and 3 Micheladas

6/25 breakfast:

• iced coffee
• iced tea
• vitamin water
• bagel with creamed cheeze
• guilt

Missed Connections. The hidden treasure of Craigslist is not just for browsing. Have you ever posted a missed connection? If not, I suggest you try it at least once. It’s kind of fun and makes you want to have “connections” on a daily basis just so you can post one. Then blog about it. 

For whatever reason I was talking to my roommate last night about how I utilized this diamond in the rough a few months ago. Not that I really thought something would come of it, it was just more for fun- or as I like to call my social dating rendezvous “for entertainment purposes only” (i am beginning to see a trend here with the way in which I treat seeking out a relationship…).

Anyways, later this evening as I was purusing through craigslist on my quest to find a new apartment in the greater NYC area (gaggg), I decided to reminise about my missed connection, and pulled up my craigslist email address (which I created for this one very reason). Below were my results from my missed connection post:

My Post:

You were totally hot…. - w4m

And you were on the 6 train going uptown. I got on at Bleeker street. You were sitting on one of those fold down chairs and you were wearing a blue hoodie and a pastel colored button up checkered shirt. You were playing a video game. I’m not normally into guys who play video games, but you caught my eye.I kept looking over at you. I think you maybe looked at me once. You got off at Union Sq.You probably did not notice me, but i just wanted to let you know….you were totally hot.

(He was hot. Like, i might have been drooling a little…)

My responses:

Fernando Pichardo: Hi i did notice you , i belive you are cute and by the way i dont really play i was just taking the game to a friend, do you like movies? 

(I give F.P props for making it sound like he was taking the game to a friend. Points deducted for asking me if I like movies- it almost would have been better if he asked me if I like breathing. Unless maybe he was getting to the question of if i wanted to go see a movie?…..hummm. Intriguing.)

Joe Town: Hey its really weird I never read these things and I was just bored. I’m pretty sure I remember you. Were you a cute petite brunette? If not sorry, but if so write me back. Ben.

(My initial though, could this be him?! But my hopes dwindled when I realized he was most likely a creeper. His name is Joe but signs it Ben. Unless maybe it’s Ben Joe. Ben Joe Town? In which case I would like to meet him just so I can say, “I’ve Ben Joe Town before!”)

So that was it. Just 2 responses. I cant wait till my next missed connection so that I can post again. But for now, I will just post about the sh*&t I ate for dinner tonight.

6/23:

• 8 girl scout cookies (yes…we still have them. they are always here. always)
• cottage cheese with paprika
• cheese and turkey roll ups (which consists of provolone and turkey deli slices folded together)

XOXO,

SG

heymikewaskom:

It’s mid-June, and school’s out, and tumblr will be officially crashing every night after dark for the next three months. Cool.

Uh oh!

I wish I had a cool story as to why I have not written a blog for over a week, but I don’t. I guess Single Girl has been a busy girl. Not only has work been a total d-r-a-g, but I recently drank/ate my way through Memorial Day weekend. My current brain cell count is down to about 54.5, I am still slightly lethargic from excessive sun exposure and have gained about 5 extra pounds in my ass. Single life is seriously having a negative effect on my body. 

So, due to the fact that I only have about .000000000000000001% of a normal humans brain cells left- details from the weekend are slightly foggy. I do, however, remember what I ate. And so it is….

Friday 5/28 Dinner (AKA Turnpike Feasting):

• On the way to OCMD, my roommate and I stopped for some turnpike grub. This included the following: Whooper, Peach-O’s, Wasabi Peas and vegetable chips. Pretty normal for the turnpike I think….What Exit?

Saturday 5/29:

• Breakfast: Half a bagel with margarine
• Lunch: 7 Wasabi Peas
• Dinner: Practically raw burger with guac and salsa- which I accidentally ordered instead of the feta and chicken sandwich. If I was not drunk I would have been pretty pissed, but at this point I was down to about 75 brain cells so it did not really phase me. Also, there is something about complaining to mean cooks in 86 degree weather about an undercooked burger that is slightly terrifying. I settled for my raw meat. Bottom line, I was fine. And by fine I mean I did not get explosive diarrhea at 1am (a single girls biggest fear). 
• Second dinner: Pizza

Sunday 5/30:

• Breakfast: Iced coffee, chocolate covered doughnut, banana
• Lunch: Sunkist and vodka
• Dinner: Went out to eat at BJ’s on the water. Fun atmosphere and less than great food. Ordered 1/2lb of pull and peal shrimp, after eating a pound of crab dip on bread smothered in cheese. I originally tried to order one single crab cake, fries AND 1/2lb of peal and peal shrimp but 5 minutes later I realized I was not trying to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser so I cancelled the crab and fries. I later exceeded my daily intake of vitamin C with approximately 12 Orange Crushes. 
• Second dinner: I had FULL intentions of chowing down on some more pizza with my friends, but I ran into a random hot boy on the walk home from the bar and decided to have him instead…OH LA LA! JK, PG you freaks. I did try to get my drunken food high by force feeding him pizza so I could watch and not eat (he was hot, its intimidating eating around hot boys), but it failed. Instead we sat and drank beers on my hotel balcony while listening to Justin Beiber for the 786th time.  Then I drove him home in our 2008 honda civic rental.

Monday 5/31:

• Breakfast: Southwest egg sandwich wrap, watermelon, orange juice and iced coffee
• Second Breakfast; Crab Cake (I had all intentions of getting an ice cream) and vitamin water
• Lunch: Traffic
• Dinner: Subway
• Second Dinner: Chips and Salsa

And that, in a nutshell, is why single girl is still single. 

XOXO,

SG